Cosmopolitan.com now has sex positions for the lesbians, bisexuals, pansexuals, queers — all the lady-loving ladies in the crowd! You’ll never sex the same way again.
After five solid years of occasionally slipping the tongue to her female friends while drunk and on vacation, Cosmopolitan has finally taken the plunge into full-on w4w sex. I’d say that I’m surprised but hey, it’s 2014.
While some of their physics are suspect— which I understand is consistent with Cosmo’s str8 material, right?— I do have to commend Cosmo for publishing this one. Genuinely.
Many queers online are already complaining that this is not “accurate to their experiences” but they’re missing the point… The transition from overly-earnest sex into pulpy nonsensical sex which you can sell in a newsstand without shame is one of the critical junctures of public acceptance. Legal and social and structural barriers are one thing, but cultural battles are hard-fought too and this, however silly, is a victory.
This is no longer dangerous sex, horrific sex, because it’s in a magazine next to Women’s Health Weekly and People, sandwiched between “My 42 Most Embarrassing Date Moments!” and “12 Guys Share Their Biggest Beach Party Barbeque Turn Ons.” There are girls in junior high reading Cosmo (let’s be real, they’re the target audience) who are going to feel more validated by an article like this than a thousand erudite think pieces about dyke liberation through active deconstruction of intimate gender roles. Why? Because you can’t find those articles in magazines sold at 7/11. Also, they inconveniently don’t come with illustrations, duh.
Is this going to impact the sex life of any women? Probably not, but I don’t think that’s ever been true of Cosmo. It’s art(ish) imitating culture imitating rumour imitating sex. Now, at least, it’s imitating gay sex. God bless.